Mind Unwind

Me : I am a mess..I am damaged at times She: I am a mess too I create storms and kill people But they still come.....to sit near me, to float on me Me : I feel broken She : So what? I am continuously breaking.. As we talk...look at that beautiful wave of me And look how mercilessly I will break it into million pieces But I will form again..so will u Me : I miss my Mom She: I was never born out of a Mother..I don't know what it is to be a child Me : I feel lonely She : Ha ha ha ha....Sky is my friend but we never met Me : I want to feel good...want to feel happy She : Come...Walk up to me Let me tickle your toes Let me make love to your pain Me : ( While walking back drenched ) When do I get to see you again? She : I don't move places...you do! I will be right here... I know...It wouldn't be too long It's a crazy world out there They will send you back soon ;)

I want you to ask my name, I know name does not matter but the way you call mine... Surely does !!! I want you to look into my eyes, I know I am a born actor, but if you could read those hidden desires.... I would never mind giving up my best actor title !!! I want you to listen to me, I know I talk a lot, but if you could hear the unsaid part.... The silence will be louder than words !!! I want you to walk with me, I know there is no straight road, but if we together can master the maze, getting lost will be a reason to find each other !!! I want you to witness me being "Phoenix" , not because I want to prove myself, but to safe guard a piece of me in you, to give me strength whenever I fall short of !!! I want you to watch me dance, not because I'm the best dancer, but to assure you that when determined I can glide you smoothly through all nodes of life !!! I want you to seduce my mind, not that I don't have a body, but it's the mind that rules.  If you ca...

Why is the moon so beautiful? It was a drive back home with some soft music cajoling my heart Suddenly I caught the glimpse of the beautiful moon traveling with me A tiny voice asked me….” Why is the moon always so beautiful?” I pulled the car to the side of the highway and switched on the parking lights A lonely road, a well-lit sky and a question in my mind Lazily I leaned onto the bonnet of the car and looked up…… I was speechless, hypnotized by her radiance I could sense her smiling at me…I could sense her pride! What is it? First I thought, it might be the perfect shape Then I thought……..Well, what’s the perfect shape?? Round or crescent……she has always outshone herself And when she isn’t there……we often look up to the sky and ask “Where is the Moon?” She is missed……no matter how busy we are!! I looked at her again… I wished I could ask her ……I wished I could just go to her and talk My heart raced with the wish…..I think I found my answer I stared at her in dis-belief…...

With days rolling into months and months gliding into years......I realized the freedom of growing perfectly imperfect. Yes, I get angry seldom...ahh...sometimes......ok....like quite frequently. And my phone suffers, by now it might have taken some five hundred and forty three leaps and bounces on the ground. No.......I have never tried counting numbers in the reverse order... In fact I have stopped doing any kind of anger management and my friends have now almost mastere d the act of ' Ridhi management  wink emoticon ' I no longer have a euphoric feel in challenging my self-control. After a whole day on fruits and salads I at times feast on rice just before I go to sleep!! I had been trying to get back to shape for the last five years and trust me I am still trying. The enthusiasm is at the peak when my eyes pop out on Deepika's waistline but once I am out at the interval I don’t forget saying at the counter...." Bhaiya, Popcorn mein butter zyada dalna .." ...

That was a dark night... She was feeling the void, kept staring at phone but all she could hear was the crystal clear silence. Darkness started dominating the hopes, that loud silence was killing her. Fate was playing some serious games, which she could not understand. This was one of those unusual nights when she wanted to find answers to few open ended questions of her life. Why me? , How could he do that to me?, Is this what God planned?.... Were a few powerful thoughts which ruled her that night. Eyes on phone, and mind struggling with thoughts that kept bouncing back and fro. Those all unshared thoughts needed a vent, all those hidden emotions wanted to erupted like a volcano. She lost touch with smile, laughter and composure for that night. Those five years had left her with a moist pillow each morning, a strange world and lot of unanswered questions. Six months had passed since that last phone call from a different continent approached her, just to inform "It's not wo...

Realizing with just one day left in joining my new job has suddenly put me in retrospective mood. Last few months that were nothing less than a decade is reason enough to stop for a moment take cognizance of what my journey been through and what the road ahead looks like. Blame, such thoughts on lack of all socializing activities over those months, you may, but the fact remains the same that these few months have been one those eventful period of my life that has carved a different dimension in my personality. I met Mr. Red little more than three years back, winters were knocking at the door, I had all the reasons to fall  for him. His personality, charm, charisma could not let me avoid him and I said "Yes" , my fairytale took off. I was a Cinderella who had never faced the shattering reality at midnight... The dream continued. While I untangled myself from the previous engagement, I had built a castle of dreams and hope with this new entrant in my life. I was on clou...

Finally the time had arrived when I had to follow the tradition set by my sisters .. Take up a professional course and head to hostel, the later part excited me more for all obvious reasons. As far as first choice goes, I had finalized my poison and burial ground right after my 10th boards. And how did I come to this decision... Well that would require another post itself... later. Let's focus on the post decision part, I am a pro by now when it comes to losing focus. Probably the primary reason I never made it to those glorious, hyped and untouchable manufacturing houses known as IITs and IIMs of this country, not even an REC for that matter. Not only that, all the men with this combination or even a single name out of the two in their resume kept me away even from their remotest radar, leaving me feeling like a Pakistani in my own country... My only hope to get associated with those fancy names had also vanished. However… Don't ask me how but I cleared Karnataka CET and ...

Her phone rang on Christmas midnight, some where in her mind she was expecting it. Voice texture was similar to her last conservation with him, half drunk.. Half firm... Selfish... Cranky. "Hi, sorry for calling this late. Was in your city, thought we must catch up." and she said yes, like she was waiting for it. Their long conversations/chats on phone over past few months had developed an unknown liking for him in her mind ... Girls are born stupid. And in no time he was there to pick her up. She sat next to him in the car and was just being herself : chirpy, talkative ... So her. His eyes were intense, may be the alcohol effect. They spoke random stuff like office , delhi winters, fog etc.. And in sometime after traversing through dense fog they reached the hotel. He opened the room's door for her and they both occupied the chairs kept in the corner of the room. His eyes more intense and intension very clear. She noticed him in proper lights and hated that leather jac...